Hey I realized something important years ago. I wanted to share it to see if it rings true for you too. Well I was raised with a lot of hugs and cuddling, especially from grandparents. Thank God for that!
Well, so I would just be so free about hugging people, hello or good bye.
And I began to notice weird uncomfortable energy coming from men, really invasive, sexual energy. It was very upsetting because I had to end some friendships and put up strong boundaries. I was upset that I felt I needed to change my free and loving behavior and generous smiles.
Then the light dawned on me. Those who were raised with out hugs and cuddling would see and feel this as sexual rather that nurturing and loving. They did not have a frame of reference for that other than ‘sexual’. It made sense. I asked a few men and women about it and they agreed. So with the expanded understanding, I became very careful about who I chose to hug and smile at. Well, it solved the problem.
It also reminds me of my bed. My Bed is a family / friend bed. Pretty much my inner circle is welcome to plop down any time. I guess it’s like the baths in Japan, social not sexual. People who have not had that experiential reality or expanded understanding would automatically assume that it’s is ‘sexual’. I get this now.
I was sitting with Will my son and his friend Damon, eating lunch, during the move. I asked which bed should I get rid of and they both agreed my king bed was the most comfortable. I said, “Oh yeah you’ve been in my bed too Damon!” Will would bring his friends in and if I was reading in bed they'd just sit and talk or lay down. They have been in sis Noelle’s bed too. Well to some that probably sounds a little weird. I had to laugh at the thought of how many of the kids friends have been on my bed.
So I guess it a good conversation to have with people.