I held the box under my arm as I lay across the bow of the boat.
The memories drift slowly across my mind.
My Papa,.. all the times you made time to talk to me ,... to listen to me,..
to answer my questions. I thought you were like God, all knowing.
I watched you fast and sleep and snore. I remembered the smell,
the garlic aroma around your neck... I hold the box tighter.
Oh,.. the tears come and the smile of gratitude.
It has been 20 years since you departed.
Mom all the times we sat at the small round kitchen table
just looking into each others eyes.
Our talks always led to laughter.
You were the one who told me that we would never be apart from each other.
Yes, I keep you here,.. in my Heart... I look out over the Atlantic Ocean
and remember how you loved to sit and breathe the salt air
and watch the waves roll in to shore.
I learned to watch by watching you...
I love you more than the Moon and the Stars...
I love you more than little baby ducks and chocolate...
I love you more than laughter and sunshine and soft rain while I'm sleeping.
And I love you more, than the pain I feel when I realize I can never hold you again...
I see an airplane fly over head,.. Papa was a pilot...
Seconds later a butterfly riding the West Wind flys overhead...
Mom loved butterflies. I begin to loosen my grip,..
I push the heavy box to the edge and open.
I look at whats left, " ashes to ashes, ..dust to dust and into the deep ocean.
You are free,.. We are free."
Whats left courses through the wind,
through the light and enters the dark water...
I stand and return to the bow pulpit.
The clouds send messages through movement.
The rain comes... I knew it would ...
Nothing separates me from the Earth and Sky,..this moment.
The sea now ominous obsidian,..
like an abyss below me, calling out, " Come on, Jump In!"
Maybe now I will.
The seagull comes port side and is followed by a friend.
Myself receiving blessings from the rain,
watch them play in the air and then back to the sea to rest.
A third comes to frolic before the storm.
A trillion rain drops fall into the ocean, the tears I never could cry.
I feel Light and at Peace.
Goodbye my beloved, Mom and Papa.
Oh yeah and keep an eye out for my friend Count down there, ok?