Sunday, June 21, 2009

i hope i dont regret this

In the house of stone and Light. That is agood song I really like it gut I dont understand why the pc is playing it... Well  I having tea the swamp people helped me collect it. Medicinal 'Ganoderma'
(DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME! unless supervized by a witchdoctor or a shman or the swamp people,) It tastes like turpentine. Ans I got double vision while i was reading. That not suppose to happen but i feel REAL good! I got pics of the shrooms and also a deluightful traet 'snakeroot' pickled omg crunchy good . Tried to uploan pics but this is a mac compu cant find anything...
my kid said after reading this you sound like a loon dont post that. Wisdom maybe but sombody  will get something out of this message.i feel good REAL good. Geezei hope i dont have to pick up a white  hip. tomorrow.THIS i MEDICINAZAL shit.. i cant post this. I am laughting because i feel good and WE DONT KNOW HOW just is!!!

That fallen tree decay ahd grow fungi. Doent mater form life is life is light.
suppose to dilute i dirnk 2 oz.

Ma has 2 live scorpions i watched one in an open container. put anant in there felt alikttle quitly but the ant really got the scorp motivated and eventually got freed. i bet i someones playlist I would book mark but ma says nnoooooo! She thinks it'l messu p up the pc she is computed illeterate , pretty sure cant talk me too but i learning ( not with the speed of starlight but with the help of starpeople) ugh guess this does look a bit crazy but i call it roarshack typing spose to be thareputic. and inlightning. Well i going into a container like mb sugests. probably done that 20 min ago cause then i would'n be xpoxse me aas a loon 


  1. I sure would love a cuppa that there swamp tea bout'now me' self!
    (yeah, 2oz. sounds about right ;) )

    Loons are beautiful birds.

  2. Last night i could hear everything even the leg steps of the insects across the room. Then Things kept flying into the widows and onto the roof. if was scary at first but ma has a loaded 4 foot protection. I noticed in the dark there was specks of yellow/golden particles. The swamp man said the the Ganoderma and Turkeytail give a sense of well being. True, but he didn't mention the temporary paranoia I had later.
    It's a bit freeky being here at night.

  3. Sounds a bit freaky...the swamp man sounds pretty cool though. Perhaps pomegranite juice may be a better choice at night ;)
    OM...I am not an angry bee'ouch, Om... I am not my programming...Om I will not drown in elevating tears....
    I wonder if anyone has actually died from emotional processing?
    Appreciate you!

  4. Hi Golden,
    I don't think anyone has died from emotional processing. You can sure die from NOT processing.I think?
    The first brew was strong. True, not so good late at night :)

  5. Correction; The goal is not to go "into a container" but to contain within my body/mind/heart 'feelings' that arrive. Sometimes things get jumbled up in my mind...Oh well...

    That scorpion was in an open container at ma's house. After spending some time watching and interacting with it I was a bit shocked to find an empty container the next morning. There were only droppings like of a big lizard or a small mouse. Note to self; avoid being put into a container(can be fatal).

  6. Too funny, when I read the part about the going 'into a container', I figured it was on account of the strong tea lol! Yeah, containment is the opposite, being with the energy without condition blows the walls off the container we are programed into! I have a difficult time containing my treasures and keeping them in my teasure box, I just want to share. You are a treasure and I am glad you share! Metaphorically speaking the Scorpion sting contains powerful medicine, but YO, where the hell did it go, yikes!

  7. Ya know i've been asking my self that. Why can't i get angry? Hahaha you know there is one person I met in February. He frequently pisses me off. Sometimes I have conversations with him in my head. " you arrogant rodent(i changed words here). Who the hell do you think you are?"
    The only time I get angry is when you remind me that I f-ing can't and that i should. I know YOU just can't wait to feel / see that Tasmanian devil (me) unleashed. You probably already see it." RRRR!(growl/ drool)
    Also, there is the issue of the self that has a higher understanding of the workings of things( anger doesn't happen here) but that Little kid self is really pissed at God ( I am sorry SIR) Why is their so much horrific stuff? "Be good, be nice, turn the other cheek, try not to get mauled. GREAT PLAN!" It seems were in this crazy gerbils wheel, "I am a woman , oh, this time a man, good , evil, stupid , highly intelligent I can make a difference, don't bother trying, rrrr growl drool." It's so exhausting! Yes, that phantom person triggers me to get in touch with my stowed away anger. I guess that is good. Ii really don't want that in my body/mind sneaking around undetected....Well hell-o. Thanks great way to start the morning ( i am laughing, now)To phantom, "JERK!".

    Golden, always lovely to hear from you.

  8. Yeah, I kept saying, I must be pissed, I get so stuck, no movement, but I couldn't feel anger. So I asked to be shown. Oh yeah baby, yep!...the cool thing is, I have been organically popping up to myself angry or in tears from different times in my life, horrible times. So, I have been loving myself there, talking to, throwing my arms around, comforting myself at 4, 12, 18,... and bringing myself up to date and into the present moment with me here now...those parts of me are so relieved... then it's like that skin of anger, saddness etc. is shed...time traveling snake of transformation. It's awesome the 'Rodent' is bringing it up for you to be with yourself who is angry and so hurting back in time, bring her on home to your loving arms.

    Thanks for the being with you and the swamp peeps, but don't hesitate to tell me to contain myself, ok? ;)

  9. Thats another thing, how can I contain what i am not conscious of, or what I am not feeling ?
    i realized i have internalized 'the stinger'. that can't be good... I on it though. I truly appreciate your comments. Most don't ever deal with this stuff. It's my passion. If it were a different week that may have started me on a silly detour. :-)

    I had a memory today About 1o years ago I would yell at the kids and punch a hole in the wall( military housing), slam my fist on the table . One day i realized at those times I was parenting like my stepfather. That was a real shocker. Thats when it dawned on me about the insidious, often unconscious programing. I got into Zen meditation ... bla bla bla
    That helped.

    I know I need to start the presence process again. July 1 Bek and I move into our apt.
    I will have let go of 80% of stuff. I hope**
    Anyway, that will be good to start on the first of July. I am feeling it.

  10. Yeah me too, July first... your new apt will be awesome. I intend spending the summer selling all my unneeded aquisitions and lightening the load all around. Yeah see, she came to you... that you who yelled and punched a hole in the wall, she's been trapped, when you set her free with your love, tell her it's cool you made it to now and give her a hug from me too.
    Once that first me in another time popped up spontaneously, and I loved and comforted myself there, it seems lots of other me's in different times are showing up...
    so little by little I am more here, and trusting Presence more to know what's best.

    Be you till full journey... :)

    (I think CD was peeking at my scale today lol!)

  11. More fuel for the love machine, right?
    Seriously now,I am so on it, being present with these memories fading In and Out.
    'bout time ;-)